Fight like a girl

Blogaholic Designs”=

Monday, July 6, 2015

Surgery Day!

Surgery day is here and as you can see I'm all pumped up ready for surgery.  Ready for my 'on-hold life' to get back on track and this all behind me.  

My mom came with and of course my hubby.  Had our dear friends (pastor and his wife) come up to see me and another dear friend whom I've known for about 21 years.  I've had a lot of prayers on social media.......I am very blessed.

 photo KIMG0206.jpeg

Surgery went just fine.  The Lumpectomy (partial Mastectomy / breast conservation) & the Lymph Node removal (Axillary Lymph Node Dissection) went really good.  The hospital staff were awesome!  

Something that was a little different than the other surgeries (different hospitals) I've had was that they gave you the 'knock out' med in your IV before they wheeled me back to the OR.  If the past, I have been wheeled into the OR first, then given the med. The med worked very fast and I was out before I even made it into the hallway to the OR.  I like it that way.  I didn't have a chance to get worked up.  :)

Here I am back at home, same day.  Surprisingly a little sore but very little pain.  I was given some pain meds in my IV before I left the hospital and of course got the prescription pain med filled before coming home.   

 photo KIMG0209.jpeg

But one thing about me is that I HATE to take pain killers.  I was in an auto accident about 5 years ago and was on a popular pain med for 2 weeks.  I had extreme withdraw symptoms for 2 full days after cutting this med out.  I had the jerking, restless legs and arms, shaking, etc.  It was awful! So I don't take them unless I cannot bear the pain.  So even after the IV pain meds wore off, I just had to use Ibuprofen (occasional Tylenol) for the pain just for a few days.  AMEN!  Also, ice packs are my friend.  

The only main issue I have had since the surgery is constipation.  I've tried all kinds of over the counter things, but I found that the combination of Mira-lax, suppositories, and then one Correctol (female laxative) before bed finally got my system moving 3 days after surgery.

I have 2 different incision sites.  One where the doctor removed the cancerous tumor, the other where she removed the lymph nodes. Both are sore, but look very good!  They are clean, healthy with mild bruising around the sites.  

The hospital put me into a surgical bra to come home in. I left this on until I took a shower the 2'nd day home.  I also removed the bandage the 2'nd day after surgery when I took a shower (doctors instructions).  I have been wearing a stretchy bra called the 'genie bra'.  The pads can be removed for a very comfortable, relaxed fit.  For those that have to have this kind of surgery, this bra is very inexpensive at Dollar General.  They also have one that is not named the genie bra, but it is the same bra.  

So all in all the surgery went great.  I should know by the end of this week what pathology found from the tissue taken at surgery.  If more than 2 lymph nodes have cancer, then I'll have to have another surgery to remove the remaining lymph nodes, then have chemo.  If less than 2 (a few) have cancer, then I'll just have to have chemo. and radiation.  If NO cancer is found, then just radiation. No matter what the outcome is, I will be ready.  God still has my back.

Sunday, June 28, 2015

Pre-op & surgery consult day

Met with the surgeon her.  Discussed the risks of Lumpectomy (Partial Mastectomy) & Lymph Node removal (1-4 of them).  

Before today, I was under the impression that the risk of Lymphedema was only if they all were removed.  My surgeon explained that from surgery on I will have to be careful with my left arm due to a few (1-4) nodes are being removed.  Which means, no blood pressure taken from that arm, no blood draws or pricks, no insect bites, cuts, scraps, etc.  I guess I am still stuck in that "it will never happen to me" place.  

Pre-op went well.  I'm ready for sx.  All I need is to get rid of this stupid sinus, cough thing and I'll be good to go.  ;)  I am ready for this sx to be over and I'll be one step closer to beating this.

Back to the lymph nodes.  If any cancer is found in these lymph nodes that are removed, the Oncologist is going to recommend chemo.  The surgeon explained that if she finds that a few (2 or more) had cancer in them, then she will need to go in and remove the rest.  So I am definitely praying that the cancer didn't spread.  But again, I am being realistic.  There is a difference in being realistic and negative. Being negative, to me, is confessing the outcome on myself.  I am not doing that.  I am preparing myself for a chemo. battle just in case.  I am preparing my mind, body and soul for this poison that may have to enter my body.  I do however, trust God in this whole entire process.  I won't forgot the promise he made to me on the swing that day.  He said,  "I am going to allow you to go through something. You're going to be fine; I got your back".  I am praying, along with friends and family, that I won't have to go through chemo. of course.  I do know that God is in control and he has given me PEACE.  

I thought about that last night lying in bed.  How amazing is he, that he can anoint a total PEACE over someone with something so terrifying?  Without him, I would be a total basket case right now.  I would be filled with worry and doubt.  So I thank him every day for that PEACE that I know comes from him.

I don't claim to be any kind of expert on cancer.  In fact, I knew hardly anything about the 'c' word until I was diagnosed.  I researched, spoke with friends that went through it, and still don't really understand a lot.  But I hoping that my blog might help someone that was just diagnosed or one who may have a loved one going through this ordeal.  I do know that reading blogs and watching video diaries of women who have gone through this has helped me a lot.

(below)  My hubby, being supportive and trying to get me to smile, made me take a 'selfie' with him while waiting for the surgeon.  I wasn't in a bad mood, just not feeling well that day.  I had a lot to take in.  But I am so glad he is supportive and there for me every step of the way.

 photo KIMG0190.jpeg

So, I feel that I am all ready for the big day next week.  
Say a prayer for me!

PS Thank you for all my family and friends who are praying and following me!  I love you!

Sunday, June 14, 2015

My beginning of my breast cancer story...............

I wanted to tell people so they could pray for me without the questions, advice, comments and opinions but I didn't know how to do that without seeming rude.  I'm still not completely sure this is the correct way to tell everyone, but it is the way I've chosen.  I decided to use my blog to tell my breast cancer story.  I'm only at the beginning and I have a HUGE mountain ahead of me.  But I WILL get through this.

So, here it is.  

This is my beginning of my breast cancer story...........

I found a lump after my husband had his stroke at age 40.  I decided to wait for a bit to make sure it was a lump and not just something that would go away after a month and besides, my husband needed me more and I was going to be there for him.  I keep checking the lump daily for a while........yep, still there.  It was starting to get a bit sore.  Ok, it's been 3 months, it's time to go see my gyn.  

Of course, the gyn wants a diagnostic mammogram with ultrasound.  Really?  I have NO breast cancer (blood relatives) in my family line.  This is ridiculous.  Ok.  Fine. They scheduled it.

3 weeks, day of the mammogram and ultrasound, my husband, still being home from his stroke recovery, insisted on taking me.  I kept telling him, it's not a big deal.  I had my baseline (first) mammogram when I was 40 so I wasn't scared or anything.  It didn't even hurt last time, no big deal. Nope, he insisted.

During the diagnostic mammo. the radiologist kept wanting more pics.  Like my breast wasn't already feeling like it was being put through the wringer.....seriously?  Then the ultrasound was done.  The tech left the room and came back with the radiologist.  The look on his face was PRICELESS.  My heart sank.  He looked at me with concern and said, "Tell me your family history again."  I was getting aggravated at this point.  How many times do I have to tell these people that this is nothing and I have NO breast cancer in my family! He then showed me on the screen the lump in question (there were a few cysts as well).  This one in particular was a hard solid mass.  After the explanation, he informed me that he was going to order a biopsy.  I had to ask.  I had to hear him say exactly what he was looking for and what I was thinking!  "What is it that you are checking for with this biopsy?" I asked him.  He then said....... "cancer".

I walked out of that room, into the waiting room where my husband waited.  I had to face him.  (God made sure my hubby was there that day because I couldn't have driven home.  God is good like that you know?  Always looking over me.)  My heart was heavy, I felt myself going to bust at any moment.  I wouldn't look him in the eye until we got into the elevator where we were alone.  I looked up at him, opened my mouth to tell him, but nothing came out.  Tears started and all I could do was nod when he said, "Is it cancer?"  He then said, "We are going to get through this and you are going to be ok."

 photo Cream-3-Seater-Garden-Swing-Seat-Hammock-With-Deep-Cushions-And-Adjustable-Canopy-800x533.jpg

That afternoon I sat on our porch swing in the breeze by myself and was in shock.  God clearly spoke to me at that time and he said, "I am going to allow you to go through something.  You are going to be fine.  I have your back."  At that point I felt this overwhelming sensation of peace even though I knew right then and there what the Lord was going to 'allow me to go through'.  The Lord, my father, just told me that all is going to be ok.  I can do this.............with him by my side.  

Four days after the biopsy, the phone rang.  My heart sank....again. It was the breast cancer center on the caller ID.  (I requested that they call me so I didn't have to travel 1.5 hours to hear the news that I already knew.)  Even though I knew what the results were, hearing those words was going to change my life forever. The doctor was very nice and positive.  I hung up the phone, put my face in my hands and let it all out.  The anxiety I was holding in for weeks.  (Now please know that there is a difference between anxiety and worry.  Anxiety means to me being nervous of the unknown or about something I can't control.  I wasn't worried.  My God still had my back remember?)  My husband held me.  I wiped my face and told him that we need to tell the boys.  We sat them down and told them that I had BC, and I was going to go through some surgery and treatment, but I was going to be fine.  

It's been almost 2 weeks since that phone call.  I met my Oncologist, breast surgeon and plastic surgeon.  My next step is surgery, radiation and possibly chemo.  But I have been in a good place......still have this overwhelming sensation of peace.  However, I have a new name tag on my chest.  

My name tags read:  

I am 41. 
I am a wife.
I am a mother of 3 boys.  

and my newest name tag........

I ---- HAVE ---- BREAST ---- CANCER.

I have a journey in front of me.  I will not let this keep me down.  A dear friend told me once that I am an overcomer. So I will get through this. Not because I am strong, but because my GOD is strong and he is with me ......................... all the way.

 photo images.jpg

I was one of those people who thought, 'I'll never do chemotherapy.  I'll never put that toxic junk in my body.  I will find a way naturally."  Well, I want you to know that you DON'T know what you would do until you are in that situation. I have researched natural cures for cancer.  I've read article after article and again, until you are in that doctors office hearing those words, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD DO.   (Please don't take offense by this.)

If you believe in the power of prayer, than please pray for me. I'm not trying to be rude or cold hearted.  But please don't overwhelm me with advice, natural remedies (I already know, thank you), questions, or tell me about your relative that died from cancer.  Instead, overwhelm me with how much you are praying for me and my family!   Thank you and I love you!

I will be blogging throughout this journey hoping to help someone with worry of the unknown.  I hope to be a good witness for someone who needs God in their journey.  Can you do it without him?  Maybe.  But I choose to do it with him. Why?  Because he's got my back and I completely trust in the one who created me in his image and without him.......I can't do this.

 photo Sunrise ocean psalm scripture girl beach l grace lauer Uniquelygrace.jpg

I want to say a BIG THANK YOU to a few special ladies who are an inspiration to me!  You know who you are. ;)
You ROCK!  You ladies are the overcomers!  I thank you for all your advice and testimonies!

Psalm 145:18 says:
The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.

Philippians 4:6 says:
Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.

1 Thessalonians 5:17 says:
Pray without ceasing.

James 5:16 says:
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

Matthew 7:7 says:
Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Luke 11:9 says:
So I say to you: Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Matthew 17:20 says:
He replied, "Because you have so little faith. Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there,' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

Wednesday, May 6, 2015

A Bump in the Road

It's been quite a while since I blogged.  The New Year came and went.  Then, January 27'th, we hit a bump in the road.  My husband, age 40,  had a stroke.  That day will not be forgotten.  

This is how it went:

I woke up hearing the shower running at 5:30am thinking to myself, "He sure is taking a long shower this morning before work. He must be really tired and trying to wake up or his neck is bothering him again."  (He is usually out the door by this time in the morning.)  Then I heard him dry heaving.  I jumped out of bed, knowing in my mind that something is wrong.  Opening the bathroom door, I see him half hanging out of the shower with his head trying to get over the toilet.  I asked if he was ok, and what was going on.  He said he got dizzy and the room was spinning.  I helped him up and helped him onto the toilet.  He was in a daze.  He wasn't responding right.  "Something is off" I thought to myself.  I helped him up, got him dressed and helped him to the couch.  I asked him a few questions to see if he was ok and he was sluggish.  I told him, "Something isn't right.  I'm taking you to the ER."

He was transferred from our local hospital to a large hospital in Columbus, OH that specializes in strokes.  He had a stroke.  

I will never forget these next words after we found out he had a stroke:  "He has an artery dissection."  What?  

Guilt came over me.  I told my husband that if he didn't quit smoking and didn't start eating better, he was going to have a stroke.  How I wish I could take those thoughts and words back.  I know in my right mind that I wasn't the cause, but guilt is what I felt along with panic.  I didn't let my husband see my panic.  I held it together.  I was strong.  I told him that it was going to be ok and he would be back to normal soon and we would get over this.  God has always taken care of us and watched over us and I believe he is still in control.  

But when I got in the car to come home,..................... I fell apart. Every time I left his side at the hospital, I fell apart.  I KNEW God was in control, but I felt so helpless, worrisome and scared.  I prayed all the way home.  When I walked into the house to my children, I kept it together.  I was strong, positive and level headed. When I felt myself falling to that point of loosing control of emotion, I went to my bedroom and the damn opened.  But soon after, I wiped my tears, took a deep breath and opened my bedroom door back to reality.  My kids, my husband needed me.  They needed me to be strong, level headed, positive, on track, and present.  My boys are older so they didn't need someone to be here to cook for them or keep an eye on them.  They pulled together and kept things at bay.  But I came home every few days to make sure all was well and to re assure them that all will be ok.

My husband came home after a week in Columbus.  There was only one day (a few days after the stroke) that he experienced deficiencies from the stroke.  His left hand wouldn't work like he wanted and he had very slurred speech.  He would say things that were 'off', that he normally wouldn't say.  But PRAISE GOD, he was healed and now back to normal!  

I thank God for all my MIRACLE BELIEVING, PRAYING friends and family!  When the doctors follow up with my husband, they cannot believe that he walked away with no deficiencies, but I can.  I have an awesome and powerful GOD who still heals today. We need to believe, pray and keep faith when we hit these bumps in the road of life.  God is the same today as he was thousands of years ago and will be forever.

I am going to try and get back to blogging soon.  We have 5 new female additions to our family ......... SHEEP!  So much to blog about, so little time.  ;)

Tuesday, December 30, 2014

New Year, new organization!

As each new year creeps in, I find myself thinking about re-organizing.  Kind of like spring cleaning, but only winter.  ;)  This time of year, the accumulation of "stuff" gets almost out of control.  With Christmas behind us, not to mention more 'stuff' to put away, I can focus on where each thing goes in my house.  Pinterest is a great resource to find organizing tips.  They have several boards on organizing.  Let's face it, when we are organized and have less clutter, our homeschool days seem to have a better flow.  The kids are not excited about their Christmas break coming to an end either, so let's take the time to check some of these boards out and see what great organizing tips we can find! Just type in the search bar 'homeschool organizing'.  :)

Tuesday, October 7, 2014


Do you ever feel like you are being pulled in so many directions that you are going to tear into pieces?  If so, you must be..... a mom.  Let's face it ladies, when our children are not feeling well or down in the dumps, they either take it out of us or run to us for comfort.  That is our job right?  I'd like to say no, but yes.... I'm afraid it is.  

When I was married, I had the choice "....for richer or poor, sickness or in health, 'til death us do part"....or something like that. ;)  But when you become a parent, there are no vows.  You are a parent.  Congrats!  

My youngest had a fever a few days ago and he is 11 years old. The whole time, he wanted his momma close by.  I am 41 and sometimes when I am sick, I would love to have my momma close by.  I wish!  The truth is, momma's are the secure comfort they need.  The tender loving care that they need and no one does it like momma.  I remember leaving my youngest home with daddy one day (many years ago) for a short time while he was sick.  He was so upset!  I told him that I'd be right back home (can't remember where I went, but it must have been real important because I know how my boys are when they are sick).  He called me on my cell a few times, which was ok. I hurried home and he was so relieved when I walked in.  Daddy was here.  But mom is who they wanted....needed.  ;)   

So, as moms, we are torn in several directions most of the time. Well, let's face it.  We have 'stuff' to do and MOM is the only one that is going to do it.  Well, at least in my house.  My husband is the sole provider of our house, also works long days and hours, so I do the running around, taking care of the boys.  (So please dads, don't comment about being left out.  This is how it goes in my home.)  Let's see, we have soccer practice one night a week, soccer games 1/2 day per week, church Sun. am, youth group one night per week and we cannot forget all the homeschool events and activities during the week as well.  Sometimes, I get tired!  

One thing I have learned throughout the years though, is that Mom needs her time too.  If Mom isn't healthy, happy and functioning on all ain't gonna get done people!  Mom needs a good book to read, a bubble bath some nights, a beauty shop visit or just a new hair color at home once and a while, a night out to dinner with her friend(s), even a day at home alone occasionally.   This is soooo important ladies!  It helps keep our sanity and reminds us that we aren't just moms, but strong women and wives also.  

Sometimes when I hear my boys bickering and then I hear "MMMOOOMMM", I just cringe.  I know that an argument or fight has occurred and I just want to go hide in my bedroom until it passes.  I don't of course.  We handle these things because we are THE MOM.

Now, I have listed so many negative mom moments here, I want to take a moment to write down some positives that make it all worth while.  

Here are my list of positives:

I get to take care of my sick children.
I get to correct them and walk them through their arguments/fights.
I get to take them to soccer games and practice.
I get to take them to church and youth group.
I get to take them to their homeschool events/activities.
And I get to listen to them yell "MMMOOMMM"!

God bless us Moms.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Home Canning

As a child, I remember eating tons of food from home canning.  Potatoes, tomatoes, pickles, apples, pears, peaches, pickled eggs, etc.  I, until recently, forgot how wonderful these foods taste!  If you don't believe me or you've never eaten a home canned food, you need to do the taste test!  

I bet everyone knows at least one person (young or old) who cans.  If not, you must live in a huge city. ;)  Ask for a can of anything!  Then go buy that same type of food in the store, canned.  For example:  green beans - buy a can of green beans and then taste a home canned one.  OH MY GOSH!  You'll never eat old canned stuff again.  hee,hee.

As you know, I homeschool.  Well, during canning season this year, we are homeschool canning!  I just can't get both done completely so I combined them.  Nutrition is part of our science class, so that is what I am teaching my sons.  I am teaching them how to preserve our food not only for a 'rainy day', but for health reasons.  Lets face it, you really don't know exactly what is in those cans you buy off the store shelf.  Over the years, there have been reports on mice feces on the tops, bacteria, and even a human finger in one!  Yes, I read it.  Gross!  Now please don't post that I am insulting you if you don't can.  It's not for everyone or maybe you don't have the means to can.  Personally, I don't like canning in general, but the results are SO WORTH IT!

So here is what we have been busy canning this week:


 photo 101_9338.jpg
 photo 101_9339.jpg

Hint: These were sold as 'deer apples'.  For those of you who don't know what 'deer' apples are, they are apples that may have some bruises or not perfect enough for the stores.  But look at these!  Gorgeous!


 photo 101_9346.jpg

 A neighbor brought these over to us.  He grew them in his garden and he had too many.  :)  Yippy!  The small potatoes that you think may be too small to eat....wrong!  They are perfect for canning!

The end result:

 photo 101_9347.jpg photo 101_9348.jpg


So I challenge you to take the 'canning challenge' and taste the difference between the store canned food and home canned food. And this is a great learning experience for my children!